There was this little video being passed around the internet recently about a twin who had survived unspeakable tortures under the hands of Holocaust murderer Dr. Mengele. I started to watch, and it very quickly became sickening, so I shut it off.
It was so compelling that I turned it back on. I re-started the video towards the end and worked my way backward until I got the unbearable parts. The words of this little old Hungarian lady struck me so deeply. She talked about her discovery of the healing power of forgiveness. She said "I discovered I had the power to forgive! No one could give that power. No one could take it away. It was all mine to use in anyway I wished! And that became an interesting thing because as a victim of almost 50 years, I never thought that I had any power over my life at all!" She said she liked forgiveness. "It is an act of self-healing, self-liberation, self-empowerment."
As I am readying myself for this day of reconciliation, I am thinking about the Divine power of forgiveness and how it is Divine and yet within my own power as well. I am to working on repairing and upgrading all of my relationships, including the one I have with myself.
The Yom Kippur service takes the participant on an orderly journey, starting off with a good releasing of all the vows we made in this last year. What vows comes to my mind are things like - I am going to get up an hour earlier than usual, stop eating bread and keep better track of my finances. With the annulment of my vows - all my promises become unbound, and I am released from any failure that came from them.
There are other kinds of vows that get released as well. The unconscious vows that we are not even aware that we are vowing to ourselves. Things like - I have a lot of anxiety today, it's going to increase until I am a nervous wreck and I won't be able to handle it. I am never going to be seen in a bathing suit again! I am so insulted by what she said that every time I see her, I am going to give her the stink eye!
ALL vows get untied, freed, and nullified, what a Divine gift. We are invited to give ourselves a reset, let go of blaming others and ourselves, and feel connection again.