Reflections for the month of Sivan - Receiving
May 25, 2014
The moment for receiving fully, with all of our senses, all of our flesh, all of our very soul has arrived, now. All month long there has been an inner examining, and an inner preparing and clearing of the field. We have formed ourselves to be a container, ready to receive the gift of no doubt, absolute connection, and a path for traveling through time.
Lord of the Dance – the receiving of my own history and energy field back into myself – oh so good!!!!~
The other day, I experienced the full pose of Natrajasana – Lord of the Dance, for the first time, with the help of my teacher.
When I released the pose and came out of it, every single fiber in me was shaking. My heart was pounding away. That day, some part within me had found the inner place of that pose and the “me” that faces the outer world was able (in that moment) to open enough, to bend back enough, to find my footing and my foot behind me
The pose begins by creating a grounded structure from the lower half of the body. While standing solid on one foot, the top half of the body rises up and reaches back to connect with the whole back of the body and the other foot, in this wild dynamic steady dance.
Was I relaxed…was I steady….. in the pose? Not in the least, but the ability to do it was there, and I was taking it in whatever way it came.
I could tell from the way the previous day had ended, that this was going to be an auspicious day. I had actually been praying for this day to arrive. I now fully knew how to extricate myself from a situation that had been troubling me for a long time. I now knew how to retrieve myself back from a very stuck place in my own inner history, and I moved on it.
I think the inner preparation for the coming month of Sivan and the receiving of the Torah is that - it is about clearing and making space so that I can be in a deep receptive relationship with the Divine for longer periods of time. I can’t connect, I can’t receive, I can’t go forth, if I am living from a place that is too cramped with issues from the past. I don’t want to have an inner life of a hoarder, unable to give up one item.
I was deep into my yoga practice, the other day when my teacher’s voice cut in and said “ … and stop blaming your parents!” It was hilarious and so true!
And luckily, the Torah isn’t just received as a onetime deal. The offer button remains on for eternity. I get to keep the dance going for as long as I can.